by Meghan Johnston Aelabouni
“New Year, New You!” Every January, this phrase pops up in ads for gym memberships, in magazine articles featuring ten easy steps for money management or relationships, and even in churches whose members are urged to recommit to faith in the new year.
For some, the new year is a symbolic time to make a life-giving change: This year I’ll get sober. This year I’ll reconcile with a loved one. But many new year’s resolutions are less about health and healing than about perfection: how to get the perfect look, the perfect schedule, the perfect balance. Why is the promise of a “new you” such a powerful draw?
Many of us freely acknowledge that nobody’s perfect — and then we turn around and try our hardest to be perfect, and feel guilt and shame when we inevitably fail. If we know on some level that perfection is an illusion, why do we spend so much time, money, and emotional energy trying to reach perfection, or at least to pretend that we did?
It doesn’t help when, as people of Christian faith, we turn to the Bible and find Jesus saying, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Is faith really about being perfect like God? No offense, Jesus, but have you met us? This seems like a recipe for disaster.
Thankfully, there is good news hidden in this verse. The word we translate from the original Greek into English as “perfect” is telos, which is much better translated as “complete.”
Telos is really about the fulfillment of our purpose, like a seed that grows into a plant, blooms, and produces fruit. (Considering the biblical commands to “bear fruit” and “be fruitful,” this wouldn’t be the first time that God’s people are compared to plants.)
Why does this matter? Because part of the problem with the word “perfect” is that we tend to understand perfection as a one-size-fits-all standard we’re supposed to meet. If there is one right way to be a human being, everyone is judged by how they fit that blueprint — or how they fall short.
Here’s the good news: God never intended for us to “be perfect” by being the same, and God never asked us to become someone else. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God wants you to become “a better person” (in other words, a different person). Rather, God’s desire is for us to become more fully ourselves, to be who we truly are. The truth Jesus reveals to us is that we are, already and always, God’s beloved children. God has created us as diverse people and called us very good.
Meghan Johnston Aelabouni is an ordained ELCA pastor who is currently studying full time for a PhD in Religion, Media and Culture. Meghan and her spouse, the Rev. Gabi Aelabouni, live in Fort Collins, Colo. with their three young children.
This article was adapted from, “Perfectly Imperfect” by the Rev. Meghan Johnston Aelabouni. This article first appeared in the January 2019 issue of Boldcafe.org.