Rachel and I sat together at a café on a rainy Seattle morning. We shared our dreams and hopes and fears and frustrations as we have done countless times over the 18-year stretch of our friendship. Our friendship is precious because we both know it could have turned out differently. You see, our friendship fell apart our sophomore year of college. We spent a year basically not speaking to one another. Thankfully, by our senior year, we grew close again.
Every relationship that experiences a rift is different. Here’s what I learned:
- Resurrection happens over time (even Jesus needed three days) and is always an act of God.
- If a resurrection occurs, a death has also occurred. Grieve it. New life will not come until you acknowledge what has been lost.
- At some point, if you cannot find healing within a relationship, you may need to step outside it permanently.
- Walk through it at an honest pace.
- Ask God to give you patience, clarity, kindness, and grace.
This message is an excerpt of “Resurrection in relationships” by Sarah Scherschligt in the April 2011 issue of Cafe magazine.