You are enough; you are worthy!

by Guest blogger

“A woman of strength who can find? She is far more previous than jewels. . . . She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household.” (Proverbs 31:10,15.)

I used to want to be a Proverbs 31-type woman—one worth more than jewels. I thought I might start by providing food for my household. It was a nice spring day when I decided to walk to the store to buy ingredients for salsa chicken. A recipe I found after scouring the internet for what seemed like hours, and it seemed easy enough for my lack of skills. I even used pico de gallo fresh from the deli section.

I am not much of a cook, so this was an ordeal for me.  I made the chicken and spread the pico over it, seasoning it just right with garlic, salt, pepper, onion powder, poultry seasoning—you name it.  I took the temperature, making sure it wasn’t dry and the juices ran clear. It looked fantastic and smelled even better. I laid the chicken out on my fiancé’s plate next to a side salad. He cut off a piece, took a bite, as I waited on the edge of my seat. This was a labor of love for me; I honestly hate to cook. It makes me anxious, but here I felt I had a winner with this chicken.

“So what do you think?” I asked as he took a bite.

He frowned as he chewed,  “I don’t know… it just tastes too much like chicken.” Imagine that, chicken tasting like chicken. Being upset would have been unreasonable, of course; chicken tastes like chicken, I reasoned with myself. I knew he thought it was bland and flavorless, but wouldn’t say it. So I sat there trying to appear calm and ate the chicken. He knew something was wrong, but didn’t address it, not wanting the conflict.

 

There was always something wrong.  Today, it was the chicken not measuring up, just as I could never be enough. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep the house clean. I couldn’t stay on top of the laundry. I was the one who worked less in the house, so most of the housework fell on me, which was our domestic agreement, and it was fair. But I couldn’t fulfill my responsibilities. I wasn’t good at it, and I couldn’t make chicken not taste like chicken.

I wanted my chicken to taste impressive, but it wasn’t really about the chicken. It was about all that was expected of me, to make the house a home. I wanted to be able to wave a graceful wand and make the tablescape a piece of art that belonged in Better Homes and Gardens. This I thought a Proverbs 31 woman might do.  But I thought,  wasn’t that lady too busy with other things to be whipping up tablescapes like Martha Stewart? The Proverbs 31 woman hustled, she kept the books, she made money. She commanded her household. I figured her chicken was juicy, crunchy, and always hot and ready.

But is that what God wants? Or is that what a man wants? I started to rethink my goals. Today, I think it’s enough that our chicken can taste like chicken. I imagine the pressures our Proverbs 31 woman felt to do all these things.

I see all these influencers these days, the tradwives of TikTok and Instagram, and all over social media feeling this same pressure. Yes, the Proverbs 31 woman is the original wifey of the Bible. And she was hardcore! But I doubt she cared much about Pinterest aesthetics or whether her chickens were free-range. (They were, by the way, that’s just how chickens lived back then.) She not only considered her field, she bought it; but she also worked practically with her hands. She knew how to make money; she ran her household. And people respected her. She was noble and virtuous, but mostly she had faith. (See verse 30) Thus, her efforts were seen as enough to make her praiseworthy.

I decided to try this path; to trust that I was enough. This Mother’s Day, my mom wanted fried chicken, and I know of a ma-and-pop place that makes great fried chicken. My family loves supporting small businesses, so I thought it’d be perfect. Then I started worrying, maybe KFC would have been a better, safer choice… Or broasted chicken, a local favorite.  I couldn’t stop thinking of what my now ex-fiancé thought of my chicken, and I wasn’t even cooking this chicken on Mother’s Day. Well, Mother’s Day finally came, my mom took a bite of the chicken, and again I paused. And she thought it was great, and I was so relieved. Mother’s Day was a success, Mom was happy, the chicken was tasty, and all was well in the world.

I think I learned  a lesson. For God, it’s good enough when our chicken tastes like chicken. It’s good enough we made the effort in the first place—whether to cook a meal or buy one–to care for our loved ones. The fact that we acted out of love is what is welcome. With the right people and God, chicken tasting like chicken is just right.

Proverbs 31 is not a contest. It is a reminder of all that women already are doing and the absolute need for faith that God is the one who gives worth. Whatever you do, you are honored. You are worthy.