Today’s writer used a question in Now Is The Time: A Study Guide for ELCA Declaration to People of African Descent as the starting point for her blog. In Session 1 of the guide, a small group discussion question is posed: What is your earliest memory of noticing racial difference? What messages were associated with racial difference?
The Declaration of the ELCA to People of African Descent is an acknowledgment of the church’s complicity in slavery and the perpetuation of systemic racism. Now Is The Time: A Study Guide for ELCA Declaration to People of African Descent focuses on deepening understanding of that history and engaging white people in conversation on the meaning and impact of slavery and systemic racism. Participant materials are available in addition to the study guide.
by Jody Smiley
I grew up in a small town in South Carolina in what I would call a lower-middle-class family. Both my parents worked, and we had an African American young woman, Lilly, that cared for me and my three siblings. My older brother and sister attended school and my younger brother and I were at home with Lilly all day. She had a daughter, Gayle, that was my age and would come with her each day. We thought it was just to play with us. Gayle and I became playmates and great friends right away.
When it was time for me to start school like every other little girl, I was excited and ready to make new friends. After my first day, I came home very disappointed. I had met new people, but I didn’t see Gayle. I asked my parents why she wasn’t in my class or even at my school. How do you explain the “separate but equal” policy to a 6-year-old? My parents kept it simple, “Gayle is going to her own school just like you are.” I am sure I just accepted that answer and went on my way. Without knowing it, this was my introduction to racial differences.
As a white girl in South Carolina, I just accepted the idea that I attended school with just people that looked like me. I never gave it another thought. In 1970 the high school I attended became fully integrated. I was a junior and I am sorry to say a lot of my friends chose to leave the public high school and attend a private school. I made new friends that didn’t look like me and it made me a better person. As teenagers, we didn’t dwell a lot on social issues but there were times that my African American friends shared their stories. I remember one in particular.
In the sophomore class, the student that finished the year with the highest grades was an African American young man. I said how impressed I was and he shared this story. When he was registering at the new integrated high school, he overheard some white teachers questioning how smart the “new black” students would be. They said there is no way they are going to make the grade. He said at that time he vowed to study and show them just how wrong they were, and he did.
Now as I look back at that time as my adult self, how sad it was to fool ourselves that the system was truly “separate but equal”. We chose and continue to choose not to see what is in front of us, how unfair the system was and continues to be.
Jody Smiley is a retired environmental analytical chemist from Blacksburg, Va. She served on the churchwide executive board of Women of the ELCA from 2011-2017 and was the vice president from 2014-2017. She also has served as the president of the Virginia Synodical Women’s Organization.
I grew up in southern Minnesota and did not really see or know any black people until my freshman year at Junior College. Five black young men came from Chicago and enrolled. I did not know what to think or do. Race had not been something that I had encountered until then.
My first real memory of knowing something was different was when I was about 12. We were driving form Iowa to SC to visit my Grandmother and had stopped for gas somewhere south of the Mason Dixon, I couldnt find the restroom and had walked all the way to the back of the station and was reaching for the door handle when my Mom grabbed my hand and said ” Not There”, and led me to another place inside. When we were back in the car, I asked her what was wrong, it was marked bathroom, and she explained in the South there were White bathrooms and Black bathrooms and I had to be sure, I was using the right one”. WHAT!!!!!!
It is sad we didn’t question at that time but this is a great opportunity for us reflect on those situations.
I grew up in a moderate sized town in Iowa. There was a small black population, but there were no black kids at my junior high,so I didnt really see any till high school. Even then because they set up our home rooms on academics, I never had any classes with black students till I went to Junior College. I was of course ill prepared for that. My parents were not at all prejudiced, so I didnt really understand the problem till after I got out in the real world, and since my childhood had been non- prejudiced, I didnt see any reason to change. people are people
I grew up in a totally white suburb of Chattanooga. The only African American person I knew was the janitor of my elementary school–James. Today I wonder why we as kids could call him James–all other adults would have been called “Mr.___.” James was kind and always kind to me. There were a few children of color at my high school, and we were very casual friends. I knew their names and we would say high. My senior year (1968) the National Guard was called in. Something had happened that caused the school administration to fear and then to close school for the day. My parents (who did not talk about racial differences or race at all) then talked about how Rev. King was causing trouble. I am still processing some of these memories.
I hear you. I grew up in a similar environment–southern, no African Americans in my grade school and none in my neighborhood. Sadly, I didn’t question it.