by Julie B. Sevig
Two gift-wrapped shoeboxes sat before us, accompanied by a card. We were still basking in the joy (and exhaustion) of our first-born’s Easter Vigil baptism as we opened the card and then the two shoeboxes: one tiny and one adult-sized.
They were gifts from our son Peder’s godmother, Heidi: tiny sandals and man-sized sandals. Peder weighed 11 pounds and was four months old on his baptism night, but he still seemed small to us. It was hard then to imagine him fitting into toddler shoes, let alone adult shoes. But today he does.
As I write this, it is exactly 15 years since that night. He’s nearly six feet tall and wears size 13 men’s shoes. He’s gone from being dunked in the font at the Vigil, to (along with other teenagers) dazzling us with a reading of the creation story. And of course, all sorts of leadership in between: torchbearer/acolyte, lector, banner bearer, cantor, incense bearer, crucifer, communion server.
It won’t be this way forever, of course. There are already Sunday mornings he would rather opt out. We know he will not only leave our beloved congregation but may drift from church altogether. He may become a “none” (religiously unaffiliated).
But every baptism anniversary I’m reminded of when his little naked body was lowered three times into our big font (that’s how we joyfully do baptisms at our congregation), and of the people who continue to surround him.
May Heidi’s words carry him a lifetime:
“I give you two pairs of sandals to mark the day of your baptism. The little ones will support you when you make your first steps.
“You went into the font alone, but you came out connected to all of God’s people: people like me, who love you and who will support your every step.
“When the little sandals no longer fit, keep them to remember where you have been and all the people who have walked beside you.
“The larger sandals will support you when you are a young man exploring God’s purpose for your life. Every time you put them on, remember this day and your connection to God’s world and God’s people. Thank God for your identity—child of God—and a mission— to serve and love your neighbors in the world.
“When you are man, pass on the sandals to your children and grandchildren. And when you do, tell them stories about the people who walked before you and beside you.
“When you are old, let the sandals remind you of the promises of God, the ultimate companion, given to you on this day, and listen to God’s voice saying ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’”
Peder has spent his Sunday mornings in the front row, already hearing hundreds of sermons, listening intently and—as he’s aged—critically. In his enormous urban high school, faith is both diverse and largely ignored. It’s not easy to keep the faith.
Still, I know what has brought him to this point: a gracious God and people who love him. May he indeed always remember his identity as a child of God, connected to God’s people and called to serve the world.
Then, regardless of what pew he sits in, even if it is none at all, he may hear God saying as he breathes his last, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Julie B. Sevig is communications specialists at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago. This article first appeared in the September 2018 issue of Gather magazine. Subscribe to Gather here. Photos by Julie of the sandals Peder received from his godmother at his baptism. Next Sunday we observe the Baptism of our Lord/the first Sunday after Epiphany.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Laura. It sounds like the article you reference had a lot of impact in your household at the time. But of course, not all families can relate to that narrow indicator: “the one and only significant factor came as the answer to the following question: ‘What did Dad do?'” It is always dangerous to speak in such absolutes. My children don’t have a dad, and as you of course realize, many others don’t as well. The influence of parents and grandparents like you is so important. But as I tried to communicate in my reflection, I’m also thankful for Peder’s godmother (and his godfather) and all other adults in his life. For decades, Search Institute has been researching the same thing: the impact of family and friends on the healthy faith development of our kids. Thankfully, in our diverse and wonderful world we need not just depend on whether dads are in the house, and on what those dads are doing. It is always more complicated and broader than one article (or one parent, or one gender), and we hope and trust that the Holy Spirit blows through all our lives and homes, bringing about faith–especially in our cherished children.
Julie, I want to share a story with you. I am the mother of two grown daughters (a grandmother) and the widow of an ELCA pastor of 40-some years. At one point he came across an article that spoke of what the greatest indicator was for predicting whether a child would grow up to be an active member of a congregation (believer in Jesus Christ, person of genuine faith). He said, the study indicated that there was only one significant issue. It didn’t have anything to do with the types of activities that you mentioned–serving as an acolyte, lector, banner bearer, etc. It didn’t depend on having been in the pew on Sundays listening to sermons or even attending Sunday School. No, the one and only significant factor came as the answer to the following question: “What did Dad do?” Did Dad go to church? Was Dad active in his congregation? Did Dad read the Bible? Did Dad model his life after the compassion, mercy, and love of Jesus? Did Dad show interest in the spiritual lives of his kids? Did Dad know how to repent and forgive? Did Dad . . . ?
That blew me away. As a high-school and college teacher, I immediately realized the same truth applied to education. What did Dad do? Did Dad read to his kids? Could Dad be seen reading a book, a newspaper, a magazine? Did Dad take serious interest in his children’s activities in school? Not just sports, but did Dad care about helping hem with homework? Was Dad teaching his kids what he was learning? Did Dad model learning as an on-going lifetime activity?
Does that mean that our girls were never disappointed by the church? Does that mean that the way they sometimes saw their dad being mistreated and misunderstood didn’t cause them confusion and sadness? No. However, our youngest recently said, “You know, Mom, Dad made it easy for me to love God because he was such an amazing, loving father.”
Yes, the primary classroom of life is the home, the family. That goes for one’s social and academic education and also applies to one’s first and most powerful experience of the Body of Christ, God’s family.