Skip to Main Content
Women of the ELCA
  • Donate
  • Shop
  • Tools For Leaders
  • Publications
  • Daily Grace
  • Contact
  • Ministry & Action
    • Discipleship
    • Justice
      • Human Trafficking
      • Racial Justice Advocacy
      • Racial Justice Advocacy Network resources
      • Domestic Violence
    • Membership
    • Stewardship
      • Thankofferings
      • Faithful Friends
      • Katie’s Fund
      • Gift Planning
    • Special Initiatives
      • Raising Up Healthy Women & Girls
      • Dear Friend in Christ
    • Scholarships
      • Lutheran laywomen
      • Lutheran Ordained Ministry
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Events
  • About
    • History
    • Executive Board
    • Staff
    • Get Involved
  • Donate
  • Shop
  • Tools For Leaders
  • Publications
  • Daily Grace
  • Contact
« Back to WELCA Blog

Love, marriage, partnerships and church politics
by Terri Lackey

7.13.2010
|
Post

This month, my four siblings and I celebrated our parents’ 60th wedding anniversary with an Alaskan cruise. Sixty years—that’s quite an accomplishment.

In my family, we can boast long marriages. Both sets of grandparents stayed married until their deaths. I still look at photos of my maternal grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary. (That one sticks in my mind because I had a college assignment to get an article published somewhere, anywhere, for an automatic “A” and my letter to my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary was published in a denominational magazine.)

My oldest brother and sister have marriages that have lasted more than 30 years (closer to 40 I think; I should ask) and another older brother has been married more than 20 years, though he did go through a divorce. (He likes to say he’s been married 32 years; 22 to his current wife, and 13 to his first wife.) That just proves marriage is not easy, as anyone who has gone through it or is now married can attest.

I got married late in life and now have been married 13 years.

But wait.

I have another sister, a younger sister, who has been with her partner longer than I’ve been married. They are in a “lifelong, monogamous, same-gender relationship” as the ELCA Social Statement on Human Sexuality calls it. They love each other. They share a home they built together. They share three dogs, but no children. Honestly, they are perfect for each other because, like in most marriages, the strengths of one partner make up for the weaknesses in the other.

My sister and her partner are stalwarts in their accepting, deep South Episcopal church; one serves on the vestry, and the other, a true extrovert, visits the sick and makes dinners for the homebound. They love their church.

And I have a lot of friends who are in “ life-long, monogamous, same-gender relationships.” Some have children, some do not; some are devoted to a church, some are not. But none are officially married. They can’t count their years together and celebrate big anniversaries except in spirit.

It breaks my heart every time we get the updated list here in the office of churches that have chosen to leave the ELCA because of the adoption of the social statement–which acknowledges that we don’t all agree on whether my sister and her partner are breaking biblical laws.

We already don’t offer them the right to marry.  Let’s at least not begrudge them a place in the church they love so.

Terri Lackey is managing editor of Lutheran Woman Today magazine.

Share
No Comments

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Categories

  • Post (1,262)
  • News (295)
    • Gathering 2021 (9)
    • Triennial Convention 2021 (7)
  • Devotions (76)
  • 2122 (3)
  • Uncategorized (2)
Women of the ELCA
27 Mar
Women of the ELCA
@WomenoftheELCA

As part of @WomenoftheELCA’s #WomensHistoryMonth observance last year, we talked with the authors of Voices Long Silenced: Women Biblical Interpreters through the Centuries. One year later, we revisit the book’s publication w/ @schroeder_joy. womenoftheelca.org/blog/post/…

Expand reply reply retweet retweet favorite favorite
Back to home

8765 W. Higgins Rd.

Chicago IL 60631

800-638-3522

[email protected]

Stay In Touch

Sign up for the WELCA Newsletter

Explore WELCA
  • Ministry & Action
  • Daily Grace
  • Resource Library
  • Events
  • Blog
  • News
  • About WELCA
  • Tools For Leaders
  • Publications
  • Donate
  • Shop
  • Photos
Explore Publications

Bold Cafe

A Lutheran perspective for women of Christian faith or any woman who is interested in how faith relates to the issues facing women today.

Gather Magazine

A mix of articles, theological reflections, devotions and stories of comfort and challenge that help readers grow in faith.

Cafe Podcast

Subscribe to our podcast:

Click to subscribe

© Copyright 2023 Women of the ELCA. All Rights Reserved.
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sitemap
  • Contact
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube
© Copyright 2023 Women of the ELCA. All Rights Reserved.