by Jennifer Hockenbery
“Whisper in my ear that you are here to save me.”—Augustine.
It has been noted that St. Augustine, an African bishop in the fourth century, pleaded, chatted and even gossiped with God. For Augustine, God was his friend.
The epithet on Augustine’s grave, according to his biographer, read: “Traveler, how does a poet, dead, live on? When you read, I speak.” I have spent a lot of time reading Augustine, and I have felt myself in friendly conversation with him through his books. I have listened to him speak about: love and divorce, teaching difficult students, the joys of parenthood, and his friendship with the God of Wisdom. I feel like Augustine and I are besties.
Augustine wanted to understand the Truth. He wanted this with his whole heart. He wanted to live by the Truth and rest in the Truth. I know that desire well. That is what led me to study philosophy, to teach and to take on this role with Women of the ELCA too. I want to learn as much as I can from as many people as I can.
Augustine had a deep faith that God, who is the Truth, is constantly in relationship with us—whenever we ask a question, whenever we talk to a friend, and whenever we talk to an enemy. Jesus, who is the Word, is in all of our words—helping us to understand, use, and listen to words. Augustine believed and taught that God has a friendly heart. God wants to help us understand more and relate better with others.
What does this mean? It means something really wonderful: We can trust that God is with us whenever we are talking with someone, reading something, searching for answers, or trying to share a point. We can rely on God, who is with us. That does not mean every conversation will go well, or that we will always understand and be understood. But it does mean that God is always there. And that can give us courage to keep talking to each other.
It means that friendship between you and me, between you and your friends, and even between you and your enemies is possible. Faith in our friendship with God, our Teacher and the Truth, helps us lean into our friendships and other relationships with hope that we can learn from each other, even when we disagree.
This is really important in times when we often feel separated from others because of differing opinions, experiences and world views. We might want to give up and only talk to people we already agree with. And sometimes we do need just to be quiet for a while. But Augustine’s faith in God as his friend helped him talk with some very difficult people. He had public debates with preachers who he felt were tearing the African church apart with the view that only some people were perfect enough to be real Christians. Rather than silence them, Augustine talked to them.
Believing that God is a friendly teacher who wants all to learn, Augustine encouraged women to study and teach their ideas too. For example, a brilliant young woman and her parents wrote Augustine to ask if he would tutor her in philosophy. Responding directly to the woman, he said he’d gladly engage in discussion with her and learn alongside her, as a fellow seeker. When another woman wanted to engage in public debates about God’s grace, he told her that she should absolutely raise her voice.
Reading Augustine has taught me that our best hope in learning more is talking to others and learning from them. Although sometimes we might be duped into believing something false by talking to someone skilled in clever speech, as long as we keep asking questions, keep our eyes open, and keep the conversation going, we can trust that we’ll keep growing.
Augustine’s view of friendship, of course, includes the pure pleasure of being in the company of those we love and cherish. But he also shows us how friendly conversation can help us find new answers even when the conversations are difficult.
Tomorrow is National Friendship Day. May the God who has a friendly heart work to create new growth in all of us through our friends. May God also create new friendships for us with those we hitherto called our enemies.
Dr. Jennifer Hockenbery is interim executive director for Women of the ELCA and editor of the Journal of Lutheran Ethics.
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