Skip to Main Content
Women of the ELCA
  • Donate
  • Shop
  • Tools For Leaders
  • Publications
  • Daily Grace
  • Contact
  • Ministry & Action
    • Discipleship
    • Justice
      • Human Trafficking
      • Racial Justice Advocacy
      • Racial Justice Advocacy Network resources
      • Domestic Violence
    • Membership
    • Stewardship
      • Thankofferings
      • Faithful Friends
      • Katie’s Fund
      • Gift Planning
    • Special Initiatives
      • Raising Up Healthy Women & Girls
      • Dear Friend in Christ
    • Scholarships
      • Lutheran laywomen
      • Lutheran Ordained Ministry
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Events
  • About
    • History
    • Executive Board
    • Staff
    • Get Involved
  • Donate
  • Shop
  • Tools For Leaders
  • Publications
  • Daily Grace
  • Contact
« Back to WELCA Blog

Get yourself a pain partner
by Terri Lackey

11.14.2011
|
Post

I had outpatient surgery last week and was required by my doctor to quit taking any sort of blood-thinning, anti-inflammatory drugs a week before surgery. After five days off my meds, people were steering clear of me. You’d think I stopped smoking or something.

If you’re north of 50, you probably know that these particular pills shield you from true knowledge about your body. After going cold turkey, I felt muscles, bones, and joints that I didn’t know existed. I know that moaning and groaning about it doesn’t help the symptoms disappear. It can, however, make most of your friends disappear.

I know a woman with rheumatoid arthritis who is absolutely stoic about her pain. She never complains. The only way you know she has severe arthritis is because she twirls and dances her fingers around to keep them loose. I also know a woman who, when she corners you (and I always try to remain elusive), can go on and on about her pain. I have no doubt she’s in pain; she’s bent crooked from it, but I don’t want to spend 30 minutes listening to her talk about it.

And that’s ironic. Because I like to moan about my pain, too. I have found a friend who lets me groan if I let her groan. I guess this person could be considered a pain partner. Prayer partners share prayers; pain partners trade stories of their pain. We make jokes about it. We commiserate about it. We predict the weather by it.

“I know exactly how you feel,” we whimper to each other. “The weather must be changing because my (fill in the blank here) is killing me!” It’s nice to know somebody else really understands.

Most importantly, a pain partner does not try to fix the other’s ailments.

When I complain to my pain partner, I don’t have to complain to my husband, or my family, or my other friends, or my dogs. I get it out of my system and I get on with my day. Physically, I don’t feel any better, but I bet my spouse does.

Do you live with chronic pain? How do you cope? Do you have a friend who listens and supports you?

Terri Lackey is managing editor of Gathermagazine.

Share

Categories

  • Post (1,160)
  • News (283)
    • Gathering 2021 (9)
    • Triennial Convention 2021 (6)
  • Devotions (57)
Women of the ELCA
16h
Women of the ELCA
@WomenoftheELCA

How do you stay connected in uncertain times? We offer you links to videos and resources in our newsletter. conta.cc/3pSg8n7 pic.twitter.com/7BRbJATC3T

Expand reply reply retweet retweet favorite favorite
Back to home

8765 W. Higgins Rd.

Chicago IL 60631

800-638-3522

[email protected]

Stay In Touch

Sign up for the WELCA Newsletter

Explore WELCA
  • Ministry & Action
  • Daily Grace
  • Resource Library
  • Events
  • Blog
  • News
  • About WELCA
  • Tools For Leaders
  • Publications
  • Donate
  • Shop
  • Photos
Explore Publications

Bold Cafe

A Lutheran perspective for women of Christian faith or any woman who is interested in how faith relates to the issues facing women today.

Gather Magazine

A mix of articles, theological reflections, devotions and stories of comfort and challenge that help readers grow in faith.

Cafe Podcast

Subscribe to our podcast:

Click to subscribe

© Copyright 2021 Women of the ELCA. All Rights Reserved.
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sitemap
  • Contact
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube
© Copyright 2021 Women of the ELCA. All Rights Reserved.