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« Back to WELCA Blog

Bullied girl becomes confident woman
by Guest blogger

9.4.2017
3 Comments
|
Post

by Victoria Contreras

My mom has always told me “Mija (Daughter), you can do anything – be anything if you put your mind to it because you are the most powerful person in your life.”

But I didn’t believe it until I recognized the power within myself.

I remember being the shy middle-schooler, who always seemed to be the target of petty torment, usually about my adorable chubby frame.

Most kids, though, didn’t see me as adorably chubby.

I remember being turned away from a table, classmates telling me that I wouldn’t fit in the empty seat. I remember being met with stares and whispers when I would change into my shorts for gym class. Soon, I replaced my shorts with baggy sweatpants that would hide my legs. Heck, I remember they even found a way to make fun of me when I was running, calling me ‘torpedo.’

Nothing I did was right.

I had my friends. I loved them, and they loved me as I was. My problem is that I have always believed that everyone is special. I have always been the type to want to befriend everyone – or at the very least be kind. I reached out to the ‘popular’ crowd, and I reached out to the kid who ate a bug in first grade and was forever deemed a creep.

I couldn’t understand how kids could meet my genuine compassion with disdain.

My self-esteem was low, and I began to put myself down. If not for the strong women in my life lifting me up, I don’t know how I would’ve made it.

At one point, I thought enough was enough. I considered being just as mean as the others. But meeting hate with hate wouldn’t make me feel any better. That wasn’t me. I no longer wanted classmates to hold power over me.

[bctt tweet=”Despite their constant harassment, they would not break me.” username=”womenoftheelca”]

What did I do to get back at ‘my haters’? I sang to them.

Moment of empowerment

I decided to perform Adele’s Chasing Pavements at my seventh-grade talent show. ‘What did that do?’ you may ask. Performing was my way of showing them, that despite their constant harassment, they would not break me.

I didn’t need to stand up to them or prove I was good enough. I needed to recognize that I was the most powerful person in my life. So, I walked onto that stage, in my rainbow-colored top & skinny jeans, and sang my little heart out. It was a moment of empowerment.

My performance was the start of change within myself. My confidence began to grow. Once I recognized the power within, nothing could stop me.

To say that the bullying that I endured doesn’t affect me now would be a lie. I still remember the names of my bullies (yes, I remember you – every one of you). And I remember where I was and even what I was wearing when I was made to feel like nothing.

Even now, there are moments that trigger an anxiety about my self-image.

If you were to ask me if I would change anything about my experience, I would say no. I was blessed enough to learn at a young age that confidence is not acquired by putting others down, but by lifting yourself up. The only person who can limit you – the only person who can define you – is you.

It is this experience that will forever stay with me because it is what has shaped me into the confident woman I am today.

Victoria Contreras is a senior at Northwestern University, Evanston, Ill., studying psychology, legal studies and gender studies. She worked with Women of the ELCA this summer.

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Women of the ELCA
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Reflecting on Martin Luther King Jr's love quotes, today's blogger asks you to consider how the love you feel for your faith community affects the service you provide to it. womenoftheelca.org/blog/post/… pic.twitter.com/gcaB4NRLcx

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