God sees the bigger picture. God doesn’t always give us what we ask for when we want it. What we think is best for us might not be. Sometimes, we need to reflect on Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I’m God.”
I was lacking in the patience department. I wanted a baby. I wanted my prayers answered immediately as if I was placing an order at a pizzeria that guarantees delivery in 30 minutes or less.
In my 20s, I tried to get pregnant. I prayed every day for a baby. I tried fertility medication for years. I expected my prayer to be answered. Every month I faced disappointment, anger and hurt.
Throughout all of this, I wondered why God wasn’t answering my prayers for a baby.
Before my 30th birthday I had a radical hysterectomy. Instead of waking up to a crying baby in the middle of the night, I woke up to hot flashes and night sweats. Needless to say, this caused a toll on my marriage. I wanted to foster or adopt a child, and my husband didn’t. Hence, we parted ways.
God said no to a baby, but yes to a son, a husband, a family. Today, we celebrate, our son Robert Jr.’s 19th birthday. I’m sure I’m not alone in my feelings, but my son means the world to me. He is the reason I became Lutheran.
He makes me laugh. He is my helper. I worry every time he gets behind the wheel and every time he goes on a fire call. Sometimes, I look at him and remember how young he was the Christmas day I met him and his father.
[bctt tweet=”God gives us what we need, who we need, when we need it. “]
I remember the first time he called me Mom and the day I adopted him. I will never forget the biggest hug I ever received when we visited him on family day at basic training. One thing that amazes me is how much he is like me even though we don’t share the same DNA. Sometimes, people are shocked I’m not his biological mother because they think we look alike.
God gives us what we need, who we need, when we need it. God does hear me and everyone else. We just need to remind ourselves to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight” (Proverbs 3:5).
God may say no to some of our requests, but God might answer yes to something greater than we can ever imagine or hope for.
Anissa Canova, Gouldsboro, Penn., serves the Women of the ELCA executive board. She is a member of Grace Lutheran Church, Gouldsboro. If you enjoy our blogs, please support our ministry here.
Photo: Robert Canova Jr. and Anissa