It is tempting to believe that our intentions are what matter most in relationships. If we don’t intend to hurt people or let them down – and most of us likely don’t – then any hurt feelings must result from a misunderstanding. Aiming to clear the air, we may ask those we’ve hurt to share their feelings so that we can clarify our original intentions and defend our perspective.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, this approach often fails. Why? Because when our words and actions hurt people, our good intentions are beside the point. Even unintended hurt still hurts.
But what if we truly believed the promise of God to meet our repentance with grace? Could we dare to turn fully to our neighbors and to consider things from their perspective rather than our own?
This is what Paul advised Christians to do when facing conflicts that inevitably arise between members of the body of Christ. Our individual reputations matter much less than whether “members may have the same care for one another” (1 Corinthians 12:25). In other words, repentance is not about recording “who’s right,” but about recovering the beloved community.
This message is excerpted from the Bible study “Turn, turn, turn by Meghan Johnston Aelabouni in the October 2018 Gather magazine.
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