I can handle confession and forgiveness. The general acknowledgment that I have sinned (along with everybody else) is mercifully light on details. And spending time in “reflection and self-examination,” that is, privately pondering my sins, is already something I do daily. In those cases, only God is listening.
But a true face-to-face apology to someone I have hurt? That’s tricky. If I say I’m sorry, admit I messed up, become vulnerable in my failings – what then? Sometimes I can’t bring myself to apologize, even when I know I should. Other times I over-apologize, even for things that aren’t my fault, saying a generalized, shallow “I’m sorry” so often that it becomes meaningless.
There’s a reason that the church practices confession and forgiveness, and the passing of the peace, the same reason that Jesus always connected love of God with love of neighbor. The abundant life Jesus offers is life in relationship and community. Being human means that our relationships and communities inevitably fall short. We hurt others; others hurt us. We need to give apologies, and we need to hear them.
This message is excerpted from “Offering a true apology” by Meghan Johnston Aelabouni in the July 2017 Café online magazine.
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