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When I have hurt other people, I learn (and re-learn) that what I intended is beside the point, and explaining why someone shouldn’t feel hurt is never helpful.
There’s a reason that the church practices confession and forgiveness, and the passing of the peace, the same reason that Jesus always connected love of God with love of neighbor. The abundant life Jesus offers is life in relationship and community. Being human means that our relationships and communities inevitably fall short. We hurt others; others hurt us. We need to give apologies, and we need to hear them.
The grace of God reminds us that our worth does not depend on always getting it right. There is nothing to be lost (and much to be gained) by admitting our human failures — even the well-intentioned ones. Trying to convince ourselves that we can’t risk an apology because we’re right, or because we “didn’t mean to,” or for any other reason, means that — in the words of 1 John — we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
But as Jesus says, the truth can set us free. It is never too late to offer a true apology.
This message is excerpted from “Offering a true apology” by Meghan Johnston Aelabouni in the June 2017 Café online magazine. Today we commemorate John the Baptist.
Well written. I agree with everything. “The truth will set you free.” I have had that experience. Thank you.