Boundaries are a way of distinguishing two things from each other – in this case, people. At some point, you end, and I begin. Boundaries are limits, not because I do not love the other person, but because my love for them does not transcend my own needs and values.
Boundaries allow us to maintain our internal sense of self. They reflect an understanding of each human being as imago Dei, made in the image of God, worthy of respect and preservation. They reiterate the boundaries which God has cast for right relationships, in which mistakes and forgiveness are expected but are, as best we can, repented, amended and avoided. Boundaries are certainly essential for navigating the complicated emotional and behavioral symptoms of mental illness, but when understood as a gift and balancing act, they serve the whole body of Christ, allowing us to remain in precious and compassionate relationship with each other even as we beautifully differ in our needs and our gifts.
This message is excerpted from “A holy, loving ‘no’” by Emmy Kegler in the May/June 2024 Gather magazine. Today we commemorate Cyril, Bishop of Alexandria, 444.
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