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Though children (and sometimes adults!) push against boundaries, we do need them. Boundaries create a hedge against chaos, helping children feel safe. When they are set and gently enforced by a loving caregiver, boundaries make for a well-adjusted child. Boundaries teach us that someone cares enough for us, to not let us slip into the void.
My children’s preschool introduced me to the Montessori concept of freedoms and responsibilities. The many freedoms surprised me. Children choose their own work projects, completing them in the order they choose, working at their own pace. They move freely about the classroom. They can talk quietly and sit where they wish. This was nothing like my early education with rows of desks, lectures and worksheets. How could anyone learn in this chaos?
It turns out, pretty well. That’s because alongside Montessori freedoms come responsibilities – to be respectful, to speak quietly, to chose challenging work for your level and to stay on task. When children demonstrate responsibility, they enjoy freedoms. Freedom and responsibility is another way to look at boundaries.
This message is excerpted from “Light in the darkness” by Lisa A. Smith in the March/April 2023 Gather magazine. Today we commemorate Gregory the Great, Bishop of Rome, 604.