Most of us didn’t grow up in family systems or congregations that embraced tension. Instead, many of us witnessed the opposite: conflict avoidance and passive-aggressiveness. Engaging in tension is like learning a new language; it takes time and practice, and a lot of grace. You’ll likely say and do things that you later reconsider and wish you could approach differently on this path. Other people will, too. Extend yourself a fair measure of compassion and grace. Direct it to others as well. The most toxic aspects of tension frequently arise from the defensiveness that comes up when we feel attacked. Grace is a useful antidote to keep handy whenever tensions arise.
Life is not perpetual sunshine. That’s normal. In our congregations and families and workplaces, tensions will arise – guaranteed. When they do, we can be on the lookout for the presence of God; we can trust that the Holy Spirit is near.
This message is excerpted from “The spirituality of tension” by Emily Carson in the September 2023 Café online magazine. Today we commemorate Jerome, translator, teacher, 420.
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