So much of my early parenting years were about trying to get it right: the right answers, the right choices, the right attitude, even the right outfits. I still try to do a good job. (I don’t care about the outfits anymore.) But now I think more in terms of repair than the crushing expectation of getting everything right the first time.
Child clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy’s book Good Inside is based on the premise that kids and caregivers are “good inside.” Our kids want to do what is good. We can help them by focusing on connection and understanding their needs, while still setting boundaries, Kennedy writes. When we mess up – because we absolutely will – we can forgive ourselves and repair the relationship. According to Kennedy, it’s never too late to become the person and/or parent you want to be. We are good inside. If that’s not a theology of grace, I don’t know what is.
This message is excerpted from “Getting it right (or not) with kids’ faith questions” by Lisa A. Smith in the September/October 2024 Gather magazine.
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