Here are 7 ways we as friends and fellow church members of couples experiencing infertility can help them through their grief.
1. Don’t be afraid to support someone. Ask if you can bring that casserole over—perhaps on the day of a treatment or after a negative pregnancy test. And take chocolate too!
2. From the beginning, if you discover that someone is struggling to get pregnant, ask: “Do you want me to ask you about it?” Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes it is yes.
3. Be specific: “Does it help to talk about your treatment?” “Could I offer to pray or light a candle for you on the days you have certain procedures?” Send a text message when you’ve done it.
4. Ask about other things that remind the person that s/he is a talented and interesting person.
5. Don’t assume that just because someone isn’t a parent that s/he doesn’t have valuable insight to share about children’s ministry (or any ministry for that matter).
6. Be sensitive around days like Mother’s and Father’s Day. Is there a way to include or honor folks who wish to be parents but aren’t?
7. Stay close if someone miscarries.
Today we remember Bernard, Abbot of Clairvaux, died 1153. This message was adapted from “Struggling to cope: Where is the church in times of infertility?” written by Lindsay Mack that first appeared in the May 2015 issue of Café magazine
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