The language of cross-cultural relations
Much of cross-cultural etiquette is about gracious, common sense. Yet, from time to time, we all need to be reminded (or need to remind ourselves) of some simple approaches. For example, when you are not sure how to describe a particular person's disability in relation to the person always follow the "people first" rule. In other words, rather than saying "an epileptic," say, "Sara has epilepsy." This is also preferred to saying, "Sara suffers with epilepsy."

It is still considered rude to directly correct another person's unintentional or clumsy use of an inappropriate word. You may lead the way to a more dignified and caring approach to people who live with one or more disability by modeling a more caring language. For example, if you hear someone speak of a child as being "retarded," you can simply say, "Oh, Sara has mental retardation." or "How extreme is Sara's mental retardation?"

Some words should be stricken from our day-to-day vocabularies due to their stigma, outdated nature, and simple negativity. These include abnormal, crippled, confined, defective, deformed, imbecile, invalid, lame, maimed, palsied, retard, stricken, sufferer, victim, and withered. Of course, all of this attention to language is about caring enough to be clear — neither lumping people nor disabilities together — as well as accurate.

On a whole, we are all doing much better now than we did at one time. For example, we seldom hear of people being described as crazy or insane (outside the legal pleas of insanity); rather, we now speak of people having either a mental or emotional disability. And, as we begin to understand mental illness, hopefully, the stigma attached will continue to decrease. We are moving in the right direction. Sharing these tips by Women of the ELCA is one way we want to contribute to this social movement forward.

Thank you for using these tips to improve your life and the lives of others.