Lamenting about my age doesn’t sit well with some of my younger colleagues. But it was creaky bones, not clumsiness that caused me to miss the mark when slipping (ripping) into my underwear this morning. That favorite pair is in the trash now as is any thought of me being limber and lithe.
Aging comes with more than stiff joints. Women experience all sorts of surprises as the clock ticks on.
Aging comes with more than stiff joints. Women experience all sorts of surprises as the clock ticks on.
I read a New Yorker book review recently: “Where are all the books about menopause?” It despairs about the lack of books informing women of the stages of aging. We don’t have much out there telling us what’s about to happen to our bodies, especially as we enter menopause.
The writer is 44, but a hysterectomy sent her into the throes of perimenopause and caused a couple of other issues she didn’t expect.
“A hysterectomy isn’t the same as menopause, but it’s been, for me, a kind of preface to the story of what happens after privileged, fertile womanhood ends,” she wrote.
Yet, it was the review’s tagline that most engaged me: “For women, aging is framed as a series of losses—of fertility, of sexuality, of beauty. But it can be a liberation, too.”
Aging as liberation
Thinking of aging as liberation puts a new spin on it. Let’s think about that. How has aging liberated you?
For my favorite southern writer, Margaret Renkl, liberation is invisibility: “I was never a woman who turned heads, but menopause has made me invisible, and I love being invisible. Why did I ever care if strangers thought I was pretty?”
While I’ve yet to collect Social Security and Medicare, I’ve passed 60. I no longer wear bathing suits, so I’m liberated from scanning the Lands’ End bathing suit issue.
I’ve always been a tomboy (is that an acceptable term these days?), and I’ve never worn high heels. Wearing uncomfortable shoes is not among my new-found liberations. But it might be among yours.
I’m from the south, so I’ll likely never liberate myself from wearing makeup when I walk out of my home. My 88-year-old mother weighs twice a day and puts on makeup before she leaves her senior living condo to join others in the dining or game room. She continues to care about her appearance.
We should never stop trying to be the best we can be—in work, in grooming, in attitude, in gratitude.
We should never stop trying to be the best we can be—in work, in grooming, in attitude, in gratitude.
But we should quit worrying so much what others think of us. I guess that’s why I told you about my underwear mishap. If you can’t see me as a viable and worthy woman because I can no longer step into a pair of undies with grace, I’m liberated from caring about that.
Terri Lackey is director for communication for Women of the ELCA.
I love to read all this reply I really needed this moments Great!
Aging- it’s better than the alternative!! I proudly wear my bathing suits, wear tennis shoes everywhere, don’t bother with hair dye or makeup, just wear a smile and do the best I can! 75 years old with 3 new joints!
And you are adorable!
I’m still a mom of young kids, but as a techincally “older” mom of young kids, I’ve noticed this kind of liberation, too. I do not have time or energy to invest in the Mommy Wars; I do not care how I (or my kids) measure up to the neighbors; I trust my instincts and avoid most of the self-doubt internet rabbit holes looking for external validation. If anyone actually notices and cares that I haven’t shaved my legs since I pushed a human being out of my body, they can shove it
Melanie, you’ll be glad to know you don’t need to shave your legs as much the older you get. That’s one of the perks!
Aging is like a roller coaster…that from this almost 75 year old. Many UPs and several DOWNs…but all so much fun and exciting after each dip and high is over! Keeping on keeping on is continually the mantra! Every day a new visitation from something coming in from the outside! Each evening a reflection of what just happened! Life a true blessing to be shared with others! Everything real.
That’s great advice!
Yes aging comes with challenges, but I consider myself fortunate that mine so far a minimal. I love the freedom to chose each day’s activities and the boldness I’ve found in taking on the PV for Phebe and Current for Curran projects. I’d have never done that in my younger years.
You are a brave and bold woman!
Thanks to the two Susan H.’s for your comments. I wish I had of thought of that phrase for my blog: Put on my new big girl panties!
Age creeps up without a lot of warning. I just try to ignore the fact that I can’t do as much as I used to be able to do, or as fast as I used to do it. God bless you!
Amen sister! Age does come with its inevitable challenges (signing up for Medicare has been exhausting) but it definitely has a whole new set of perks (senior discounts, grandchildren and a renewed sense of boldness to name a few).
So put on your “new” pair of big girl panties and get moving…lol!